Are you Tackling Self Care in the Most Effective Way?

written by Karen Kondor

Self care is a beautiful thing. It’s a need-to-do, not a nice-to-do.

But, are you tackling self care in the most effective way? 

Here’s a checklist that might help:

  • Ask for, AND ACCEPT help from others
  • Delegate tasks to other people in your life
  • Delete unnecessary tasks that you’re doing to please someone other than yourself, or don’t actually get you further ahead
  • Delay tasks that aren’t a priority
  • Time block work time and down time
  • Make a monthly budget
  • Reduce spending on things that constantly have you living month-to-month
  • Enforce a morning routine
  • Enforce a bedtime routine 
  • Block off time to create a weekly menu/grocery list/grocery shop
  • Eat homemade food more often
  • Schedule your movement time as you would any other important appointment or meeting (and treat it as such - moving, not canceling, if something else comes up)
  • Tell a toxic friend/family member that they are no longer welcome in your daily life
  • Insert activities into your life that make you feel fulfilled and connected
  • Communicate your needs with those in your inner circle…and finding balance in allowing your needs to take priority over others’
  • Go to therapy regularly

Did you notice that massages, wine, mani/pedi’s, salt baths, and chocolate cake are not on this list? Not because they are not worthy of making the list and can’t be considered self care items. But, because true self care often requires you to do something you don’t really want to do. Hard things. Uncomfortable things. Unsexy things.


Unpopular opinion: the phrase “self care” does not mean what you think it means. 


What does TRUE self care look like?

  • Allowing yourself to take imperfect action
  • Looking at pieces of your life that aren’t going well, and re-strategizing
  • Ensuring the people you surround yourself with lift you up, and don’t drag you down - and culling those who drag you down
  • Not satiating your immediate desires
  • Letting something be, and choosing something different
  • Leaving the dirty dishes in the sink overnight, or not vacuuming as you walk out the door for vacation
  • Examining whether your anxiety might be coming from how society trained you…and not using that as an excuse for stagnancy
  • No longer using your stress as justification for food, alcohol, weed, and lack of movement
  • Not running from your problems, and calling the distraction a solution
  • Figuring out a way to not be everything to everyone all the time, so you’re not constantly exhausted
  • Disappointing others so you don’t disappoint yourself
  • Simplifying your life, not adding complexity
  • Digging into the who/what/when/where/why/how around situations that leave you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin
  • No longer “treating” yourself, and instead, parenting yourself

Hold yourself accountable. Stop choosing a life that looks good, and start choosing a life that feels good. One that feels good TO YOU. One that you don’t need to regularly escape from. Use massages, wine, mani/pedi’s, salt baths, and chocolate cake as ways to enjoy life, not escape from it.


Keep coming forward - Coach K

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